title : Top Movies - Gods of Egypt Movie Review (Spoiler Free) - Movie Reviews Sites
Link : Top Movies - Gods of Egypt Movie Review (Spoiler Free) - Movie Reviews Sites
Top Movies - Gods of Egypt Movie Review (Spoiler Free) - Movie Reviews Sites
article2016 Reviews,Egyptian gods are white, twice as tall as human beings and bleed gold instead of blood. Who knew?
Genre: Action/Drama/FantasyDirector: Alex Proyas
Cast: Brenton Thwaites, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Gerard Butler, Courtney Eaton, Elodie Yung, Rufus Sewell, Chadwick Boseman, Geoffrey Rush, Bryan Brown & Rachael Blake.
Run Time: 127 min.
US Release: 26 February 2016
UK Release: 17 June 2016
German Release: 21 April 2016
So this review is coming a little later than usual due to the reason that Germany was one of the last countries to release this blockbuster in cinemas, but also because I decided to review Ratchet & Clank before uploading this one. I tried to dodge critiques by other reviewers before going to watch this, but unfortunately I couldn’t escape them all. Nevertheless, I went in with a friend to enjoy this movie for what it is and have a good time, and boy did we have a blast with this over the top CGI crapfest! I could not believe that Alex Proyas, the guy that brought us The Crow and Dark City, directed this movie.
The sloppily written script for this blockbuster was unoriginal and meshed together the plots of Disney’s Aladdin and God of War III (PlayStation’s epic conclusion of the trilogy), with the visual aspects of Transformers. But compared to Aladdin or Kratos’ story, this flick had no engaging narrative whatsoever and just piled up every cliché possible, in the hopes to create a fun plot. The makers also tried to impress and convince the audience that it is an epic spectacle, by scaling up everything on screen to a monstrous size. Basically, it is the movie equivalent of buying a sports car to compensate for a small sized penis.
The clunky dialogues were delivered so exaggerated and over-the-top, it made them sound fake and hysterically bad. The screening room was in tears, laughing about the actors inadequate line delivery! There truly is not a single positive thing I can say about Gods of Egypt; well perhaps the fact that the actors didn’t take their roles serious enough and just had fun with it, or maybe the only good thing that came out of this film is that it was so hilariously bad that it managed to entertain us from beginning to end. The question that still lingers in my mind though is: what possessed the studio executives to greenlight this film?
When it comes to the characters and cast, the fun stops and it gets more critical! It is one thing to make a fun-bad movie, but to depict all gods (except two) as white is a huge disgrace and a spit on Egyptian culture. Most of the Egyptians on screen were even depicted by Caucasians! Proyas himself was born in Egypt, so I can’t understand why he decided to picked-up this mythology and ruined part of his own culture.
Gerard Butler stars in his second big screen flop this year, and it’s even worse than his premise in London has Fallen. Granted, he is aware that he signed up for a bad motion picture, but his loud and pretentious dialogues could not really save his character from being funny, as intended to. It was rather embarrassingly amusing. Butler plays the villainous god Set, brother of Osiris, uncle to Horus and jealous of his sibling’s success. In a fit or rage, he kills his brother and blinds his nephew, thus banishing him from Egypt, and starts ruling over as a tyrant.
After seeing Brenton Thwaites in Son of a Gun I was sure that this young actor would be going places. Well, I was wrong! After being in that suspenseful thriller, Thwaites decided to star in a mediocre comedy and a disappointing chick-flick, before ending up as Bek (a rip-off of the character Aladdin) in this monstrosity. He plays the clichéd, good looking and athletically talented lover of Courtney Eaton’s Zaya. Forced to work together with the blind Horus, both set off on an adventure to find his eyes so that Bek can save his girlfriend. Just as with the rest of the cast, Thwaites line delivery was laughably bad.
Nikolaj Coster Waldau, one of Game of Thrones biggest stars, was cast to play the young and vain god Horus. Kicked off the throne by his Uncle and having lost his lover, the goddess Hathor, Horus thirsts for revenge against Set and thus makes a deal with Bek. This is the first time I saw Coster Waldau star in a big role for a motion picture and I was seriously disappointed by his performance. I was not expecting a grand performance, but at least to see a fun performance that would not embarrass him. Sadly, not even he managed to come out of this wreck unharmed. Geoffrey Rush and Elodie Yung rounded up the cast, as god/dess Ra and Hathor respectively.
This movie was shot incredibly bad, with every scene feeling completely artificial and fake. Nearly everything that happens on screen was filmed in a green screen room. The fights looked like set-ups and the effects and computer generated images ranged from looking astounding, such as the inside of Set’s pyramid, to excruciatingly appalling, as in the scene where Bek and Zaya are riding on a horse carriage. In fact, I was surprised at how bad the effects looked sometimes, considering this time of age. With this much CG constantly being thrown into the viewer's face, it was no surprise that the complete blockbuster felt bloated, too “bling-bling” and synthetic.
Just as the script and cinematography, the makers of this catastrophe decided that the sound effects and music needed to be grand and loud, to convince the audience that it was worth spending money for this flick. Marco Beltrami composed the soundtrack to this film, which is a set of Egyptians melodies making one long, clichéd, “epic” composition.
Verdict: Gods of Egypt was a complete mess from start to finish. The overreliance on CGI, basing its story on the visual effects, dragged this excuse of a movie even further into the pits of crap. The script was badly written and included some of the worst dialogue scenes I have heard in a long time while displaying everything as big and loud as possible to try and make up for the lacklustre story. The performances by the cast were despicable and straight out embarrassing. Even so, as excruciatingly bad as this flick might be, I still had a lot of fun watching it even if I was laughing at it for the wrong reasons. I will therefore give Gods of Egypt a merciful 2 out of 10, but I don’t recommend you go see it in cinemas! If you are planning to see this movie, wait until it is out to rent and watch it with a bunch of friends.
Let me know what you thought of this blockbuster! My Captain America: Civil War review will follow on Friday. Thank you for reading and if you found it helpful, please share it with others!
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